What It’s Like Being Married to a Male Personal Trainer as a Pilates Instructor: Navigating Fitness, Midlife & the Public Eye
Okay, let’s be real for a second. Being married to a personal trainer while also being a Pilates instructor? It’s a lot. It’s amazing, exhausting, fulfilling, and—if I’m being totally honest—sometimes really complicated. My husband and I have been in the fitness world together since our 20s, and while it’s given us this incredible shared passion, it’s also come with pressures that I don’t always talk about.
Because here’s the thing: When your job revolves around health, strength, and movement, there’s this unspoken expectation that you should always have it together—physically, mentally, emotionally. And as we hit midlife? Whew. Let’s just say the game starts to change.
The Best Part: We Get It
The coolest thing about both being in fitness is that we get each other. We both know what it’s like to push through exhaustion for a client, to geek out over biomechanics, and to feel that deep satisfaction when someone realizes they’re stronger than they thought. It’s not just a career for us—it’s something we live and breathe.
We’ve built our businesses side by side, growing together as trainers and partners. We hold each other accountable (which, yes, means he’s my biggest cheerleader and the one reminding me to keep lifting heavy weights). But the best part? We both believe in what movement can do—not just for the body, but for confidence, resilience, and overall happiness. That’s what keeps us motivated, even on the hard days.
Midlife & The Pressure to Stay Fit
Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: The fitness industry does not make space for aging. There’s this constant, low-grade, probably self-induced pressure to stay in peak shape, to look the part, to have the same energy we had at 25. But let me tell you, maintaining that level of fitness at 45+ is not the same as it was in our 20s. Recovery takes longer. Injuries pop up out of nowhere. Some days, I feel strong. Other days, I feel every single year in my body.
And yet, the expectation is still there. Clients look to us for inspiration, and honestly? That’s a responsibility I take seriously. But I also want to be real about what fitness looks like as we get older. It’s not about chasing youth—it’s about taking care of ourselves so we can keep moving, keep feeling good, and keep doing what we love for as long as possible.
The Question I Always Get: "How Do You Handle Him Training Women?"
This question comes up a lot—especially from clients who’ve been with me for years: “How does it feel to be married to a trainer who works with so many women?” And I get it. Personal training is intimate. There’s trust, vulnerability, and a level of connection that can sometimes create the perception of something more.
Both of us have had to navigate this dynamic. There will always be clients who linger a little longer than necessary—needing just one more exercise, asking just one more question, seeking attention and affirmation. It’s subtle, but it’s there. And while I trust my husband completely, I also recognize that fitness can stir emotions and attachments people don’t even realize they’re forming. You hear the stories, right?
That’s why we’ve always kept an open dialogue. At the end of the day, it comes down to trust, boundaries, and clear communication. Our marriage comes first—always. And while he’s warm and professional, he’s also intentional about making sure his clients understand that training is exactly that—just training.
Balancing Marriage, Business & Life
The hardest part about working in the same industry? Not letting the business take over everything. When you run your own thing, there’s no “off” switch. It’s easy to go from training clients straight into talking about work over dinner, and before you know it, you haven’t had a real conversation as husband and wife in weeks.
We’ve had to get intentional about carving out time for us—time where we’re not talking about clients, programming, or anything fitness-related. Date nights, weekend getaways, even just turning off our phones and watching a dumb show like Cops together—those moments matter. And honestly? They’re what keep us grounded.
What I’ve Learned & What’s Next
At the end of the day, I love what we do. I love that we get to help people feel good in their bodies. I love that we’ve built a life around movement and wellness. And I love that, even through the challenges, we’ve found ways to grow together.
But I also know that fitness—especially in midlife—is about so much more than aesthetics or keeping up with the younger crowd. It’s about longevity. It’s about feeling strong and capable for life. That’s where my focus is now—not on proving anything, but on continuing to move, teach, and evolve in a way that feels good for me.
So if you’ve ever felt that pressure too—to keep up, to look the part, to push through even when your body is asking for rest—you’re not alone. I feel it too. And I just want to remind you (and myself) that doing our best is enough.
Thanks for being here and for letting me share this with you. If you made it this far, I owe you a Pilates class and a coffee. Or maybe just a really solid high five.
Would love to hear your thoughts—do you ever feel this kind of pressure too? Let’s talk.
